Letters and Loyalty
by Andthenyousmile
Summary: Rex thought the hug was out of relief. Esther heard what was said. She knew their friendship had changed. She just hoped it was for the better. MD spoilers


**A/N:** Spoilers for Miracle Day -Immortal Sins.

I know. Another fic. I'm shocked too. Gwen really got my goat in ths episode. And I'm thnking evil thoughts about that slimy - anyone interested in my thoughts message me. I won't subject this AN to such harsh words.

UnBetaed. Posted at a time when mere mortals are asleep, all mistakes are mine.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, but since RTD off-ed Ianto, I'm trying to claim him as mine. Waste not, want not!

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><p><strong>Letters and Loyalty <strong>

An awkward hug that, to Rex, appeared to be in relief. Jack was safe, Gwen's family were ok. A quick hug to reassure each other: they were safe, alive. He rolled his eyes as he refocused his gun. Typical Torchwood - getting soppy.

Esther thought differently. She saw the hardness and hurt in their eyes as they pulled away.

_I meant every word I said_

_So did I._

The exchange was simple, but Esther knew the dynamics of their friendship had changed irreversibly. She hoped it was for the better.

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><p>"I call shotgun!" Esther said, heading for passengers seat.<p>

"How old are you, Drummond? Five?"

"Gwen and Jack must be exhausted. Let them relax in the back."

"Don't mind if I do," Jack said waltzing past Rex and sliding in through the open door.

"Hey!"

Jack stuck his head out the door, "Look, when we stop for petrol, we'll swap. Fair?"

Rex grumbled but headed for the front seat.

"Now who's acting like a five year old," Esther teased.

Gwen silently slipped in the other side, leaving the seat next to the captain empty.

"You were going to sell me out, to save Anwen" he murmured. It wasn't accusing, just a simple statement.

"Yes."

He nodded.

They didn't speak for the rest of the journey.

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><p>"I'd rather we didn't have to stop, but since Mr. Matherson gets grumpy - grumpier - without sleep I booked us all in for bed and breakfast. It's not the Ritz but it's low key and shouldn't attract any unwanted attention." Esther said handing out the room keys.<p>

Gwen and Rex grabbed their keys and headed up the stairs silently.

"You're welcome!" she called flinging her hands in the air in exasperation.

"Thank you," Jack said, leaning in to kiss her cheek, "for everything you've done."

She grinned up at him, "Just call me Miss. Moneypenny."

"You saved me today. Thank you." he kissed her other cheek. "An immortal man, eternally grateful."

Suddenly his demeanor changed. He held put his arm, bowing playfully, "Miss Moneypenny, may I escort you to your room?"

"Captain, I'd be delighted." they headed up the stairs, Esther receiving glares from the receptionists. She smiled, but looked a little confused.

"I didn't really save you though, Jack. You had Gwen."

"See you in the morning Esther." Jack said simply, yet firmly. _Subject closed. Do not push further._

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><p>She'd been outside, getting some fresh air and talking to Rhys. Knowing he, Anwen and her mother were all safe, felt like a weight had been lifted. The only grey cloud, tainting her mood was Jack. Being completely unreasonable - selfish, even. He hadn't bothered to asked about Rhys or Anwen. She sighed, ruffling her fringe. Turning on her heel she headed back inside, pasting on a smile as she walked through the doors.<p>

Her gorgeous daughter and fabulous husband were safe.

No one was going to ruin her mood. _Especially _not Jack-Bloody-Harkness.

Swiping her door card she waited for the click and flash of green, before pushing open the door to her room.

_On the move again tomorrow_, she thought, _better check that I have everything. Did I set the alarm? Set another one just to be sure... I wonder would they notice if I nicked some soap; That berry fresh stuff Esther got is doing my head in ..._

_What the -_

Lying innocently on her pillow was an envelope. Slowly she unholstered her gun and did a sweep of the room. All clear.

Stepping forward she picked it up, not putting down her weapon.

Hotel stationary. So, either they were covering their backs or it was a letter from housekeeping. She snorted, yeah right.

Unfolding the flap, she pulled the paper loose. She recognised that cursive scrawl...

_"Gwen,_

_Some would say that what you did today, proves you're a loyal person. I'm in two minds. You've proven, many a time, that if there's something better on offer you'll take it._

_ Owen. You had Owen, and had Rhys as a backup. You weren't loyal to him, but when he was killed you opened the rift to get him back. Risked the world to get him back._

_ When I died after Abbadon, you stayed. Kicked up a fuss, wouldn't leave, wouldn't let anyone else stay with me. You never gave up hope that I would come back. Now, I'm not sure if that's loyalty or guilt. Despite having Rhys back, you stayed with me._

_And then I left, and come back to find you engaged, because 'no one else will have you'. I couldn't help but take that as a hint._

_ You think i didn't notice those looks, Gwen? Didn't notice how when you came into my office, you'd sit on my desk just so, flirtatious but not too obvious. The truth is, I wouldn't have taken you up on that offer. You had an amazing, undervalued boyfriend who put up with your crap daily - and I love Ianto._

_ You've stuck up for me when the others thought I was wrong in some decision. You've helped me so many times, and I'm grateful. I understand that you have a family and that your priorities change - believe me I do; but not once did you mention that you were doing it to save Rhys. I know that Anwen is important, but after all the shit of Torchwood, you still take Rhys for granted._

_ You say you'll stand by me, you dropped everything to help me with the Miracle, and I know why now, but despite coming back and that small display of loyalty you would have no problem seeing me killed. You didn't question if I deserved it, you automatically assumed that I had done wrong by someone._

_ I do love you Gwen, but I just don't like anymore. You've changed since I recruited you, or, perhaps, I've changed, my perspective has changed. I see you as a friend, as a colleague now, and not as the innocent, eager Welshwoman you originally were. That's not your fault ,it's the natural progression of our relationship._

_I can't trust you anymore, though, not after this and you know better than any one that Torchwood can't function without trust. I don't want to have to spend this mortal life constantly looking over my shoulder, wondering about your motives behind each smile, each hug, each glance._

_I swear for her sake I will see you killed like a dog - right in front of me- if it means her back in my arms._

_Those are your words, Gwen. Your honest words. I hope you can see why I can't trust you. My friend, the woman who supposedly loves me, willing to watch me die._

_It happened before; someone I loved watched me suffer - chose to watch rather than intervene. I promised myself I wouldn't make the same mistake again. So I'll do what I did then._

_I'm not going to pretend I don't need your help fixing this Miracle, lying would only waste time we don't have, and frankly, neither of us would believe it._

_I need you Gwen Cooper._

_But once we fix this, I wont be seeing you again. You'll get your redundancy pay from Torchwood, and money towards a secure house, but then all ties will be severed. You'll no longer be a Torchwood employee. You'll have a recommendation, should you need one, but there wont be a job for you anymore._

_Make the most of it,_

_Jack._

Jaw clenched, angry hurt tears threatening to spill, she folded up the letter and tucked it into her bag. Reaching for her own stationary set, she wrote three simple words:

_This isn't over._

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><p><em>I'm not going to bribe you, with cyber cookies, or beg or tell you how it's only polite. But should you want to, y'know drop me a line...I'd like it alot.<em>


End file.
